We had had a lovely chit chat over lunch and Lolita looked so cheerful as usual. She was way too excited about the news I broke to her as she ate a bowl of her favourite cuisine from her favourite food joint. What then could have burst her bubble in just two hours? She could no longer hold back the tears which she had obviously prevented from falling for so long. She opened her mouth to speak but practically no word came. “Let’s talk when you get home,” I whispered and she nodded vigorously trying not to get her glasses blurred by the tears.
“Oh bad days…? Everyone has bad days from time to time,” I thought as we concluded our chat that evening. Someone she met had given her the biggest embarrassment of her life and the disgrace was just too much to contain. “Even if I was at fault, why did she have to scream for the whole world to look at us?” she retorted with so much self-pity.
There are truly times when you really wish the earth could just open up and swallow you up together with everything that is going on around you. There are times where the embarrassment only builds up when you thought you had consoled yourself enough.
People are prone to making us feel all the hurt and rejection we might never imagine, whether purposefully or not, but how much of what they say do we allow to cripple us? How much of what they say do we work towards to prove them wrong? We are not always wrong and we know it!
I learnt something beautiful from the Onion. Even as you cut into it to “tear it apart”, you will not do that without shedding tears. You will never go free without hours of trying to get rid of its scent on your fingers and when you finally succeed in making it into a puree, you will never get its sugary bit till you have cooked it for a long time.I do not know whether I should call this a defensive mechanism or not, but if it is, then I guess everyone needs a bit of this in life. You should have some kind of “chemical irritant” like the onion has so the world gets to know that you carry some kind of fire that cannot be easily quenched. A friend posted Sylvester McNutt III’s quote that day Lolita dreads till date: “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you; breathe and allow things to pass.”
Don’t be too quick to break down. Don’t be too quick to give up. Don’t be too quick to settle for less and don’t be too quick to give away your King on the chessboard because “Checkmate” is only a move away sometimes. All you need is the courage to keep playing till the end.
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